If you don’t watch The Bachelor, I’m sure you’ve watched a season or an episode or two or at the very least you know someone who watches it and they keep you updated even if it’s against your will.
I’ve watched a couple of seasons and I even watched a little bit of this season. Things change from season to season such as the man who bears the title of The Bachelor and the women who compete for his affection (although sometimes girls from previous seasons come back for another shot at love). Challenges and dates change and the type of girls you see change, what doesn’t change though is what I’ve decided to call “The Bachelor Mentality”.
“The Bachelor Mentality” is the way these girls inevitably act in the end. They may start out sweet and unassuming but by the end, most of them are out for each other’s blood. They start out as friends but as the show goes on they start treating it as what it really is, a competition. Competition brings out the best and worst in people and I think a lot of these girls go home and watch the footage and cringe at how they behaved.
What’s interesting is how some girls adopt this mentality in real life. There are girls who walk around and go about their life as if they’re in competition with other girls. They can’t appreciate when another girl looks great because she’s competition for guys, attention and praise. They can’t be happy when another girl achieves something because she’s competition for success. What’s really sad, is that even when the other girl is their friend. They can’t find it in themselves to be happy for their friend and share in their success.
I’m aware that in many ways life is a competition, that you need to look out for yourself but look at these girls on this show and stop to think, reflect on whether or not you look that way. Whether or not you want to be that girl. Whether or not you want your daughter to one day be that girl.
I attended an all girl’s school for 4 years of high school, undoubtedly the worst 4 years in my life because they (the school) encouraged this attitude. They watered it and cared for it because they wanted us to view each other as competition. In the end, we couldn’t trust each other, we were scared to. We were constantly competing for the top positions in class, sports teams, friend groups.
I walked away with insomnia and a shit ton of anxiety. I hated the school and I hated what it turned me into. Living that way is tiring and miserable and it sucks all the happiness out of you because you’re so focused on being better, being the best that you forget to enjoy life, you forget to live it.
Stop looking at other girls like they’re competition. Stop trying to tear other girls down. Stop letting another girl’s success bring you down. One person’s success doesn’t take away from your own. Be happy for each other, support each other, grow together.
I think it’s important here to encourage women to empower each other and to empower ourselves. I think that a lot of the kind of behaviour I’ve put here stems from insecurity and that’s sad. Don’t let anybody tell you that you’re not smart, or beautiful or capable. Empower yourself. Be confident! Don’t ALLOW anyone to tear you down.
I know it’d nice to hear people compliment you but sometimes you just have to be your own cheerleader and I think girls aren’t raised with that kind of mentality. We aren’t raised to feel confident and comfortable with it. If someone compliments you, you’re supposed to be demure and be gracious by not actually receiving the compliment. Some girls just can’t receive a compliment because they don’t believe it but others, if someone compliments you and it’s true. Own it. 100%.
Know that you’re a bad-ass and be proud girl!
~ One Less Mean Girl.