When you find a group of girls you click with it’s really borderline magical. It’s like finding a group of unicorns grazing in your backyard. It’s the best thing ever and it’s really easy, crazy how easy it is really, to get sucked in. It’s really easy to want it all to just go amazingly and feel like you’ll do anything to make sure that these girls are the bridesmaids in your wedding one day. So what if you don’t really agree with their views? You’ll pretend you do because the friendship is more important. Who cares if they’re acting in way that you don’t like and know is wrong? It won’t matter when your kids are best friends. Right?
WRONG! IT’S A TRAP!!
I have been in my fair share of mainly female girl groups, I’ve even been in my fair share of girl groups with a “Queen Bee” and what I’ve noticed is a lot of the time when one person (usually the one with the most dominant personality) expresses an opinion, everyone else is just quick to agree. Sometimes it just works that no matter who expresses an opinion, everyone just agrees. That’s obviously wrong, friends should like you for who you are and the individual opinions you bring to the group. While this is wrong, what’s really wrong is when someone expresses an opinion about a girl and everyone hops on board.
I’m sure we’ve all seen it happen.
< Start Scene>
“Do you guys see that girl over there?”
They all nod the affirmative while giving what they think are subtle glances at her.
“Yeah, her name is Tina and she’s just such a *insert derogatory term here*”
Then she launches into some long winded story about how she knows this and how Tina may or may not have wronged her personally.
Here’s the thing, often when you actually end up having a conversation with good old Tina, you discover that she is absolutely nothing like what you’ve been led to believe and then you feel bad for all the things you’ve been thinking about her and probably telling other people about her.
Also, if you’re the girl spreading rumours about our girl Tina. Just stop. Develop some level of self-awareness and recognize when you’re being jealous or petty. Don’t drag people because you’re jealous, don’t drag people at all actually. Don’t take your personal problems with Tina and treat them as if they reflect on her personality. Don’t air your personal problems with Tina either. Your problems are between the two of you and they should stay that way.
Lesson here : Do NOT think something about a person just because your friends do. I’m not saying don’t trust your friends but try getting to know a person before making assumptions about them or just trusting what you’re told. Do NOT treat this person badly because your friend told you to. Most importantly, do NOT, I implore you, do NOT go and tell other people what you’ve been told about poor old Tina as if it’s fact. Spreading rumours about someone is mean, it is bullying someone and it’s uncalled for. Don’t be afraid to think for yourself. If your friends don’t appreciate it then they’re clearly not the friends for you.
~ One Less Mean Girl